You guys, I have had something on my heart all day and I could not wait to be done with the day and be able to share it. As I have shared before, I got my call to ministry my senior year of high school. I was in a dark place at the time. A toxic relationship, isolated far from friends and family, and most of all I was isolated far from my relationship with The Lord. The second I got that call on my life, I took it and ran. I went to a Christian university for all of 3 semesters until I decided to come home. The choice to come home was never an easy one, but it is definitely what God wanted for me. When I came home I was in the middle of some pretty bad spiritual warfare, but not once did I ever feel like I could not talk to God. Many of our conversations were about peace in my life and for some reason I felt like I had been searching for something in my relationship with him that I could not find.
I felt this way for quite some time. I continued with youth ministry at my church and I continued praying and pursing God with all my heart, but it was not until this past week that I found what I had been yearning for.
I need reaffirmation on my call that God placed on my heart about three years ago. This was my second youth camp as a leader and the whole week I was pressing in as far as my heart allowed, but it was not until the last night that I truly felt The Lord speak to me. The last night every year is usually spent praying for the kids who feel called to ministry. We prayed, and that night as I prayed over several students and anointed them with oil, I really felt God saying, "this is why I called you to do what you do and I am about to show you as well." I had NO idea what he meant by that, but I stood back and watched as so many students from our youth group walked up to that alter to publicly declare they have been called to ministry. One of them was my fifteen year old brother. In that moment I have NEVER felt so close to God and I have NEVER felt his presence as much as I did then. It reminded me that he called me to do what I do, because he wants to use me as a vessel. A vessel to these kids who do not have them at home, school, or any other place. However, when I saw my brother go up there, it reminded me of something else, it reminded me that I am not only leading students at church, but at home as well. If I was not leading by example at home, it could have affected my brother in so many ways. I AM doing my job and I AM doing what God called upon my life.
So, I think what I am trying to say is to find your calling and pursue it with all of your heart. Pursue not only your calling, but pursue Our Savior with every last breath you have in you. Isaiah 62:5 says, "As a young man marries a young woman, so will your builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." So, BE THE BRIDE! Be someone God looks at and says, "wow they are doing works to enhance the Kingdom." He wants us to build up his kingdom and to do that, he puts in place a call for each and every one of us and we are supposed to go out and fulfill that. My call is to ministry. Someone else may be called to be a politician, doctor, or lawyer. God wants us to do all of those things with love and grace.
I promise you that my call does not represent my past, because it is messy. God tells us to stop looking back! Philippians 3:13 says, "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead." Stop being so concerned with what you've done and start being concerned with what you're going to do. Truthfully, it did take me a while to accept what I have done and move past my mistakes and failures. However, when I do, it reminds me of what Jesus did for us. He KNEW we would sin and fall short, but he still gave his life for us. We are undeserving, we did NOT earn it, but Jesus still loves us anyways. So stop laying around and being afraid of what He has instore for you, get up and start moving toward your calling, embody Him, be grace, be mercy, and be love, because it is what He did for us.
