They are those two words that nobody in American society is comfortable talking about today. Contrary to popular belief, grief and depression typically go hand-and-hand. Sometimes it is the horrible pain of death that burdens us. Other times it's the constant heart ache of divorce. The list could go on and on, but one thing will always remain the same in that is God's love for us.
I was only 10 years old when I lost my older brother to a tragic accident. I found him not too long after the accident, and he was on life support for not even 18 hours before being pronounced brain dead. I typically don't like coming out with stories of how he died, nor do I try to remember how I felt after. Instead I buried it inside of me and tried to pretend like life would just go on as normal. That was just the beginning of the depression that began to unfold. I struggled with PTSD for a good part of my early teenage years, and to this day it is still an on-going battle. It has in fact got a lot better, but I know for a fact that without help and guidance of the Lord that I would have never saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I am not here to talk about myself or why grieving and depression are 2 parts of the evil world we live in. I am here to tell you how to find YOUR light at the end of this hopelessness.
I think a common question for being in a trail is "why me?" If we serve this almighty God that doesn't want to hurt us, then why he did do this to me? Why not a person who deserves it more? Well, I wish I could say I had the answer for that. However, we will never know the bigger picture God has for us until we get to heaven. There are so many reasons God could take people from us when they are barely 16, or their lives have barely started, and I know that it's hard to wait upon that answer, but it's our duty as Christians wait patiently until the day God calls us home.
As just regular people trying to cope with the chaotic world around us, we tend to just focus in on all the bad that happens, instead of giving thanks for all the good that happens as well. I learned the hard way that if you don't try your best to see the positives around you, then you'll only encounter the darkness that leads your path. Sure, you failed your math test, your car broke down, and your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you all in the same day. HEY, but at least that one person held the door open for you, you are blessed enough to get a good education, and now you can go home and nap! I'm not saying that this will help avoid depression, because nothing will. You can't help how you feel. However, this is a good way to make the darkness have a night light, if you will.
A trick to help with grieving is to NEVER bury your feelings. If you are going through a traumatic loss, divorce, or anything of that nature, SEE SOMEONE. I know that I hated having to go into a room with someone I didn't even know and having to share my whole life with them. In the long run, it will help you so much even if you don't see it right now. It is so much better to talk to someone when you are feeling this kind of pain. Whether its a doctor, teacher, family member, friend etc. THEY CAN HELP!!
Lastly and most importantly, THE LORD. Whenever you are struggling with your emotions and whenever you feel like it is too much to handle, our God has all the answers you need. You need to tell yourself that God's plan for you is so much bigger than our plans for ourselves. I know it is a cliché thing to say, but God gives the toughest battles to the strongest soldiers. Even though it is cliché, it is SO true. God will never give someone something that they can't handle. Also, if you aren't invested in your relationship with the Lord and you aren't willing to trust him with what he is doing in your life, then you will find yourself struggling a lot more. Whenever you are starting to feel alone, sad, or broken, DIG into the word and pray, pray, pray!! There is NOTHING in this world that the Lord can't fix. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). He will fix you and make you feel whole again if you just turn to him when you are feeling broken. It is a long and winding road before you do realize everything will be okay, but you'll find yourself so much stronger in your walk with Christ, and your relationship with him if you just turn to him in trial. Also, don't only turn to him in trial, turn to him in joy. You'll learn to appreciate the little things so much more and you'll begin to feel so much better about the direction your life is going in.
Other ideas to help you with grief/depression: NEVER avoid it. That will never help you, but only hurt you. Talk to friends, family, or anyone that is willing to listen. Exercise!!! Even if you hate it, it's a great way to let out frustrations. Eat right! It is a proven fact that sugar can make you more depressed--steer clear of it and eat plenty of veggies and greens! Lastly-- invest all your spare time to your walk with Christ. The stronger the relationship you have with him, the easier it will be for you in the long run.
Take it from someone who has lived this out for 8 years- grief and depression are no jokes! They will try to tear you down and make you feel isolated from the rest of the world. You know who else does that? The devil. He will always be out to steal, kill, and destroy your heart, happiness, and joy, but the quicker you turn to God in those situations- the better off you'll be. I'm going to end this with a verse I have hanging over my bed that has gotten me though every hardship I've encountered through the past 8 years.
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us"-Romans 8:18.
With Love,
Hollie Adams
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Monday, February 20, 2017
The Struggle of Being Single
I'm a firm believer in everybody is meant for somebody. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's true when you're sitting in your bed alone on a Friday night craving attention from some boy. I'm also sure that boy that you are dying to date on that one football team is not looking at you and wanting a loving Christ centered relationship either. I'm sure he has something better in mind for himself...
Ever since I was younger I've looked up to the relationship my parents had and I have envied it with everything in me. They have been married for 24 years and sure they have their ups and downs, but they treat each other with respect and love. LADIES LISTEN-- NO matter how "hot" or "charming" a guy is, if he doesn't love the Lord more than he'll love you, then he is NOT the one for you. As female Christians, I believe we deal with the everyday struggle of lusting. Yes, lusting happens to everybody at some point. Instead of looking at the inside of somebody's heart, we look at their beautiful jaw lines, their defined stomach structure, and the way their arms look like they could move mountains. Under all the outside features there is a man that either loves the Lord, or he doesn't. He either busts his bottom to please him in everything he does, or he doesn't. He is either intentional in every action and does everything with grace or he doesn't. If he isn't praying with you, for you, or helping you in your walk with Christ every day that you feel like you aren't doing enough then he isn't for you. A man should pull you up every moment you feel down. He should show you your worth and importance to the Kingdom of God. He should hold your hand through every dark place and every moment worth celebrating. "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."- Matthew 6:33. In other words, if you are not able to walk with Christ on your OWN, then you are NOT ready for someone else. You need to be able to seek God yourself, before somebody else seeks him with you. Being able to walk on your own is so important, because without that then you will never be able to walk with your significant other. You will never be able to hold someone else afloat during the hard times, if you can't even do it for yourself. I've learned it the hard way. Ever since I lost my brother nearly 8 years ago, I tried so hard to find a man to fill that void in my heart. However, after just a year in college I learned that without me being able to hold myself up alone and grieve on my own, then I will never be able to hold someone else up. "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."-Galatians 5:16. In other words, if you fall in love with the Lord first and take to heart his plan for you yourself, then God will bless you immensely and you will not feel the need to lust. So, remember all of this the next time your love for that player (literally) on the football team means more to you than your heart for God. You need to be able to thirst for the Lord and only him before you are ready for somebody else. You need to be able to feel weak every time that you read the bible, other than when you have that "one-night-stand" the weekend of that one party. You should be able to fall in love with the word and crave more and more from it. I have been single for two years and I do not regret even a second of it. I've began to pray over my future husband. I pray that I marry a man that is even half the man that my father is to my mom and I pray that when the time is right, my prince will come.
I believe that when God sends me the right man that we will be equally yoked and he will want to walk with me through every trial and tribulation that the world throws at us. He will pray with me and will seek him with me. Until that day comes, I will wait and pray and stay stead fast in the word and his plan for me. I hope that you wait for the right man to sweep you off your feet and I hope you continue to follow the Lord's plan for you.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
With love,
Hollie Adams
Ever since I was younger I've looked up to the relationship my parents had and I have envied it with everything in me. They have been married for 24 years and sure they have their ups and downs, but they treat each other with respect and love. LADIES LISTEN-- NO matter how "hot" or "charming" a guy is, if he doesn't love the Lord more than he'll love you, then he is NOT the one for you. As female Christians, I believe we deal with the everyday struggle of lusting. Yes, lusting happens to everybody at some point. Instead of looking at the inside of somebody's heart, we look at their beautiful jaw lines, their defined stomach structure, and the way their arms look like they could move mountains. Under all the outside features there is a man that either loves the Lord, or he doesn't. He either busts his bottom to please him in everything he does, or he doesn't. He is either intentional in every action and does everything with grace or he doesn't. If he isn't praying with you, for you, or helping you in your walk with Christ every day that you feel like you aren't doing enough then he isn't for you. A man should pull you up every moment you feel down. He should show you your worth and importance to the Kingdom of God. He should hold your hand through every dark place and every moment worth celebrating. "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."- Matthew 6:33. In other words, if you are not able to walk with Christ on your OWN, then you are NOT ready for someone else. You need to be able to seek God yourself, before somebody else seeks him with you. Being able to walk on your own is so important, because without that then you will never be able to walk with your significant other. You will never be able to hold someone else afloat during the hard times, if you can't even do it for yourself. I've learned it the hard way. Ever since I lost my brother nearly 8 years ago, I tried so hard to find a man to fill that void in my heart. However, after just a year in college I learned that without me being able to hold myself up alone and grieve on my own, then I will never be able to hold someone else up. "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."-Galatians 5:16. In other words, if you fall in love with the Lord first and take to heart his plan for you yourself, then God will bless you immensely and you will not feel the need to lust. So, remember all of this the next time your love for that player (literally) on the football team means more to you than your heart for God. You need to be able to thirst for the Lord and only him before you are ready for somebody else. You need to be able to feel weak every time that you read the bible, other than when you have that "one-night-stand" the weekend of that one party. You should be able to fall in love with the word and crave more and more from it. I have been single for two years and I do not regret even a second of it. I've began to pray over my future husband. I pray that I marry a man that is even half the man that my father is to my mom and I pray that when the time is right, my prince will come.
I believe that when God sends me the right man that we will be equally yoked and he will want to walk with me through every trial and tribulation that the world throws at us. He will pray with me and will seek him with me. Until that day comes, I will wait and pray and stay stead fast in the word and his plan for me. I hope that you wait for the right man to sweep you off your feet and I hope you continue to follow the Lord's plan for you.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
With love,
Hollie Adams
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